The Bridesmaids

When it came to choosing bridesmaids, it was an easy choice on who would stand by my side.  I've read that friends come and go through out the year of planning, and thankfully, that's not something I worry about.

I don't have sisters or female cousins - but I have an amazing array of friends that have been in my life for a long time.  Which made choosing my 6 bridesmaids very easy!

I wanted to ask the girls in a special way.  Using something I made myself (they would expect that from me...), and something unique and sentimental.

I presented them each with a box tied with twine.  

Half of my bridal party lives out of town so I had to find the perfect moment to ask each of them:

• Amy and Anna came with me to my first dress fitting appointment.  When I came out in my first dress I handed them each a box. 
• Lindsay was at my second bridal appointment (the one where I found my dress).  This is when I handed her the box. 
• Krissy (my sister-in-law) was visiting from Nashville for Thanksgiving.  We only had enough time to meet with Krissy and Sean (my brother) for breakfast before we headed out to Pennsylvania.  I handed Krissy the box over breakfast...and of course, in true fashion, Justin mocked me by writing "will you be my groomsman? Check yes or no" and handing the napkin to Sean.
• Justin and I spent Thanksgiving in PA with the P family, and when we arrived, I could hardly wait to hand over the twine wrapped boxes to his sister, Courtney, and to our two flowergirls.  
• Just before Christmas my friend, Jenn, made the trip over from Grand Rapids and we met at our favorite lunch spot (Sumo Sushi in Rochester for anyone local).  And between ginger salads and Cloud Nine rolls, I asked her to be my bridesmaid.  

The general reaction from each of them - joy to get a gift and smiles when they opened up the box.  (Seriously, I love that you girls all humor me with your joy when you have no idea what it is...)

In each box was a cork wrapped with a message and tied with lace.  

Once the lace was untied, the paper clip could be held on the bottom and the message is then pulled out in scroll-like fashion to reveal the words: 

I happened upon this idea while I was trying to figure out how to incorporate a cork (since we'll be married at a winery).  And using other items I already had on hand.  I have always thrown wine and champagne corks into a hurricane vase and have accumulated a vase full over the years.  It was just by chance that I happened to have a cork significant for each bridesmaid... 

• Amy and I always drank the two buck chuck when we would hang out together.  And I had plenty of these corks on hand - and so she got, a very fitting, Trader Joe's Charles Shaw cork. 
• Anna had just got married in October and I saved a cork from her wedding.  Which worked out perfectly - I later discovered that she had never kept a cork from her own wedding and she was happy to have one.
• Lindsay attended book club with me.  One night I asked to pour her a glass of wine at book club and she turned it down (odd behavior).  With out thinking, I said "oh my gosh... you're pregnant!"  That was the night Lindsay told me she was pregnant - and she would later find out her and her husband were expecting twins!  
• Jenn's message was wrapped around a Leelanau Cellars cork.  Our families frequently traveled to Traverse City together growing up.  I have many memories of our vacations up north where we would visit wineries with our parents and we got to sip on cups of grape juice.  In fact, it's because of our time spent as kids that I have such fond memories of Traverse City - and a big reason why Justin and I are getting married up north.  
• Krissy received a message wrapped around an Arrington Winery cork.  That's the bottle of wine we drank at the winery when I visited her and my brother in Nashville two months before they married.
• Courtney and Mr. and Mrs. P visited Justin and I in Michigan about 8 months after we had started dating.  We visited Sandhill Crane vineyard together - and although Courtney was pregnant at the time, I will still always remember the first time they traveled to Michigan for us.  I used a Sandhill Crane cork saved from this day to hold the message.

So...here's how I made it.  

Using the smallest drill bit I had, I drilled a hole through the center of each cork. 

I then took a regular (large) paperclip and bent it straight, then fed the wire through the hole in the cork.

I bent the top of the paperclip to hold it in place.

Then on the opposite end of the paperclip, I broke off the excess with neednose pliers (by bending it back and forth) and then curled up the wire to make a handle that could easily be held.

Then I cut a small flag out of dropcloth, stamped it with the name, and glued it over the top "L" piece of the wire.

I didn't feel it was appropriate to ask the flower girls with a cork...so I drilled a hole through a small wooden dowel plug (which was a lot harder to drill straight through).

I then cut strips of drop cloth out and stamped the message on each leaving enough blank space for the cloth to be wrapped around the cork (or dowel).  I wrapped a full circle around the cork and glued the cloth in place.  

Then I rolled up the message and tied each scroll with a piece of lace...

And placed into a hand stamped box wrapped in twine.



I'm happy to report that all the girls said yes and I will be one lucky bride to have these ladies put up with my emotions...all the way up to the wedding :)

xoxo,
Mary

Finding the Dress

One of the first items on my agenda was to find my wedding dress.

Before I started shopping for a dress, my mom and I talked about the possibility of altering her wedding gown to my specifications.  My mom's dress is lace, and it's something I seriously considered.

Isn't she beautiful? My mom was 20 years old when she got married to dad.  

I tried it on, and it fit me. Perfectly.

As in, had I worn it the way she wore it, I would not have to alter a single thing.  However, I would have altered it. A lot.  And there were pros and cons to retrofitting my mom's gown:

Pros:
1) Sentimental reasons.  This is an obvious reason.  My parents have been married 36 years, so the dress would be a great symbol of their loving marriage and my upbringing.
2) The dress was lace, and already something I loved.
3) The cost to alter the dress would (probably) be less than what I would spend to purchase and alter a new gown.
4) My mom would love it (the main reason I considered it)

Cons:
1) I hadn't settled on a style I wanted (since I had not tried a wedding gown on yet), so it would've been difficult to trust a tailor to alter the dress to an idea I had...but not knowing exactly what I wanted
2) The lace of the dress was yellowed, and the lining was thin (and uh...see thru)
3) Extensive alterations would have needed to be done to get it to where I would like it.  So it would've been a different dress altogether

I ended up deciding not to wear my mom's gown.  Designing a gown (basically from scratch) would have added a lot of pressure on the whole wedding planning process.  And I was looking for a "pressure free" experience.  I am very happy that I tried on my mom's dress and was able to snap some pictures of the day. I think the fact that I considered wearing her gown, and also that I fit in her dress so well, was just as special for her.

And so, began the looking process.

I was excited about looking, but the whole process made me feel a little anxious...for a couple of reasons:

1) My friends were all so sure about what wedding dress to wear as soon as they tried it on.  I wasn't sure if I would feel this way about a dress.  I didn't know if I would get that feeling...  
2) My mom and I have different styles and ideas of what kind of wedding dress I should wear... and I really wanted her to love my dress.  But I also really wanted to love my dress.

Thankfully, Justin isn't the kind of fiance that wants an opinion on a wedding dress.  I'm very happy that he's not the overly opinionated type (then, if he was, I probably wouldn't be marrying him). 

Overall, my experience with finding a dress was a good one.  I found it rather quickly, and made a decision (okay, narrowed it down to two dresses) very easily.

Here's a couple of rules I stuck to...which kept me on track (and on budget):

• I had no expectations on my first bridal appointment.  I looked at the appointment as an experience with my mom and girlfriends, and for me to figure out my style.  
• I stuck to my budget.  That meant that no dress outside of my budget came in my dressing room - and therefore, I didn't fall in love with a gown I couldn't have. 
• I brought two inspiration pictures of two different styles I thought I would like.  I showed my consultant at my first appointment, but I should have brought them out again. (The consultant must've overlooked one of the photos because as we were leaving the appointment I found almost the exact dress on a mannequin and she never mentioned it.  By the time I noticed the dress the store was closing and we were all exhausted so I never said anything).
• I had my friends take pictures of me in the dress (except at the first appointment, where they weren't allowed).  I wanted to make sure it photographed well.  Also, it would provide a reminder rather than having to try on the dress 14 times.  The photos really helped after I left an appointment.  I loved the very first dress I tried on, but because pictures weren't allowed, I forgot the details of the dress and ended up finding something else I liked more.  I have been able to look back on the pictures of my two favorite dresses, and I feel even more confidant that I made the right decision.  
• The boutiques always offer a discount if you purchase the same day as your initial appointment.  I didn't worry about the extra discount.  I figured that I could negotiate this at a later time, rather than feel rushed into buying a dress that I might later regret.  
• I asked my friends opinions.  There is a reason they are my nearest and dearest friends!  Most of them have known me for 12+ years, so I encouraged them to speak up and tell me the truth.  Their opinion helped me out a ton!  There was one dress that I liked, but when Amy pointed out a hem line in the middle of the dress I couldn't take my eyes off of it!  Thanks to her, I ruled out that dress pretty quick.

I followed my dress-looking rules, and I ended up with  my dress within one week of being engaged!  I was shocked.  Frankly, I'm happy to have the dress (well, I'll have it around June) and to have that decision out of the way.  And thanks to the pictures we took, I know I made the right decision for me... here's how it went.

When we walked into the first appointment, I felt overwhelmed by the racks of white and ivory dresses. I didn't even know what to do.  My bridesmaids (although they didn't know this at the time), Amy (being the fashion-ista) and Anna (who had just gotten married herself) dove right in and started pulling gowns they thought I would like.  My mom cautiously pulled out dresses (she knows our styles are different, and she didn't want to force a dress on me).  And I stood back for a few minutes to just take it all in and watch my mom and friends choose.  They would pull a gown and ask my opinon.  While I wasn't diving in to pull gowns myself, I surprised myself in my quick responses...I clearly knew what I liked and didn't like.

Sparkles, glitter and sequence - Out, out, out...Pick ups - Out...Ball gown - out.  Empire waist - no way.

Lace, organza and tulle...bring it on :) 

We piled up 11 very different dresses to try on.

I slipped on the first dress - one that the consultant chose and I approved.  This boutique didn't allow photos (stupid rule).  After I left the boutique I quickly forgot about the details of the dress, so a photo would've been helpful, and may have encouraged me to return to the boutique.  I don't know the designer, but here is a similar dress:

The dress I tried on had a deeper V-neck and the vintage broach was just under the V. The lace was consistent all over, and it was (in my opinion) more beautiful.  Anyway...

It was a really good first dress.

This dress set the standard for the other dresses I tried on, so it made making a decision very easy for the rest of my first appointment.

I liked the dress, but I remember thinking that I felt it was overpriced, which made the dress less appealing to me.  I had to try it on 3 times to try to talk myself into it.  And in the end, I decided to leave with out it.

I didn't expect to find a dress on the first appointment so I wasn't disappointed to leave empty handed.  The good news is that I knew what I liked now and so it would give me a head start in my future appointments.

I had a very good idea of the style of dress I wanted before I walked into my appointment.  For example, here's a little glimpse into my Pinterest wedding inspiration board that I started prior to looking for dresses.  After my first dress appointment, I knew this was the style I wanted.  I would describe this as simple, organic, natural and timeless.  You might describe it as.... lace.

I always saw myself in a lace gown.  It's what I expected and thought I would feel most beautiful in.

I tracked down one of the dresses I had found online (the one actually within my budget...) and tracked it down locally at Macy's.  The dress is made by Tara Keely (by Lazaro...it's their more budget-friendly design label).

Later in the week, my friend, Anna, and I were on our way to my second bridal appointment (not Macy's) where we would meet my mom and friend, Lindsay. We were running early, and I had a good feeling about finding my dress, so I decided to pop into Macy's just so I could get that Tara Keely out of my head.

Here it is...

                           

I called ahead to tell the consultant that I was in a hurry and that I only wanted to try this one dress on.  I had seen the prices of the Macy's gowns in the past, and I figured they wouldn't have much in my price range (they carry big name designers with big price tags).  The consultant, Britney, pulled the Tara Keely for me, and included 2 other dresses she thought I might like that were within my budget.

The Tara Keely (pictured above) was beautiful - but it wasn't the one.  My favorite part of the dress was the back - it was delicate, feminine and lacy.  The train wasn't quite as long as I was looking for and it didn't feel like it was enough of a wedding dress for me.

It only took me a minute to rule out the TK, so I slipped on one of the dresses the consultant placed in the room for me.  It was a lace sheath with a sweetheart neckline and a plunging back.

This was the first dress I tried on and felt like a bride in.  Let's call this dress #2.

I'm showing you the dress because it ended up not being the one I chose.  As a bride, I always saw myself in a lace sheath gown.  When I tried this gown on, I called my mom and Lindsay and told them that I had cancelled my appointment at the boutique salon and I needed them to come to Macy's.  I hadn't even told them I was stopping at Macy's, but thankfully it was only 2 miles from the boutique so they could easily re-route.

When I called them, this Demetrio's gown was the one I intended on showing them.  

It wasn't until they were already on their way when I decided to try on Dress #1 (the second dress that the consultant suggested I try on).

I can't show you the gown because it's the one I ordered. And the choice really surprised me.

I easily narrowed down all my choices to the two gowns at Macy's.  I never left that dressing room.  I just tried on the lace sheath and the other dress, and kept going back and forth.

Finally, I looked to my girlfriends and my mom and asked their advice.  Lindsay finally said to me "you don't want to love this gown as much as you do because it's not what you pictured for yourself - but it's your dress"

And she was totally right. I've always pictured myself in a simple lace gown.  But I wanted something a teeny, tiny bit more dramatic.  When I glance at the pictures of the gown I chose, and pictures of me in the lace sheath - I am 110% satisfied with my decision.  Absolutely no regrets at all.  In fact, I know that had I chose the lace sheath, I would definitely regret it!  I think you all might be a little surprised by my decision.

I only went to two stores to try on dresses and I believe that my experience was so stress-free because I refused to try on a dress that wasn't in my budget. While I looked at dozens of dresses online, I found that trying them on was the best.  I also have to give my mom and girlfriends full credit.  They were 100% supportive and patient with me as I deliberated between 2 dresses for 3 hours.

By the way, my experience at Macy's (so far) has been amazing.  Britney was incredible.  She let me take up a dressing room for 3 hours, and she gave my friends and I space and privacy to talk about the dress and to to switch back and forth from dress to dress. At other salons I've been to, the consultant is there at every moment.  I really appreciated the laid back experience with Britney - she gave me the freedom to make a decision.  She even asked if the dress was in my budget, and even though I responded that I was happy with the price, I was given a 15% discount.

When it came to ordering the size for the Tara Keely (which is couture sizing) I ordered a size 8 (my street size is 0-2).  Here is what they recommended based on my measurements...bust - size 2, waist - size 6, hips - size 8.  So, not wanting to cut back on my morning biscotti, I chose size 8.  Besides, the dress will be altered to ME...so does it really matter what size the dress is?

Dress shopping - not really as difficult as TV makes it out to be!

How was your dress shopping experience? Did you find your dress right away, or did you search endlessly for it?